Life is tough. It's tougher if you're stupid.
Why are the needy only thought of during the holidays? Aren't they just as needy throughout the rest of the year?
The most enjoyable form of sex education is the Braille method.
I've decided that to raise my grades, I must lower my standards.
Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
At work, the authority of a person is inversely proportional to the number of pens that person is carrying.
The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.
Impotence: Nature's Way Of Saying 'No Hard Feelings'
The early worm gets eaten by the bird, so sleep late.
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.