In the '60s people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
My wife is a sex object. Every time I ask for sex, she objects.
Toilet stolen from police station. Cops have nothing to go on.
The trouble with being the best man at a wedding is that you never get to prove it.
I live in my own little world. But it's OK...they know me here.
After years of research, scientists have discovered what makes women happy. Nothing.
My cousin just died. He was only 19. He got stung by a bee - the natural enemy of a tightrope walker.
You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.
Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives.
Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps.