Definition of pressure:.....A wife, a mistress and a mortgage all a month late.
If At First You Don't Succeed... Blame Someone Else And Seek Counseling.
Sometimes I think I understand everything, then I regain consciousness.
I'm a psychic amnesiac. I know in advance what I'll forget.
There are two kinds of people in life: people who like their jobs, and people who don't work here anymore.
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
If you don't believe in oral sex, keep your mouth shut.
There will always be beer cans rolling on the floor of your car when the boss asks for a ride home from the office.