Flashlight: a case for holding dead batteries.
Rummaging in an overgrown garden will always turn up a bouncy ball.
I shall meet all of my deadlines directly in proportion to the amount of bodily injury I could expect to receive from missing them.
All power corrupts. Absolute power is kinda neat, though.
After a night of drink, drugs and wild sex I woke up to find himself next to a really ugly woman. That's when I realised I had made it home safely.
I live in my own little world. But it's OK...they know me here.
Why are the needy only thought of during the holidays? Aren't they just as needy throughout the rest of the year?
Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts!
The Web brings people together because no matter what kind of a twisted sexual mutant you happen to be, you've got millions of pals out there. Type in 'Find people that have sex with goats that are on fire' and the computer will say, 'Specify type of goat.'
"Buffet". A French word that means "Get up & get it yourself!"