Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.
Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.
I live in my own little world. But it's OK...they know me here.
Gargling is a good way to see if your throat leaks.
The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.
Joint Checking Account: a handly little device which permits my wife to beat me to the draw.
I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
BEER: HELPING UGLY PEOPLE HAVE SEX SINCE 3000 B.C.!!!
A picture may be worth a thousand words, but it uses up a thousand times more memory!