Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings, they did it by killing all people who opposed them.

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

Always look on the negative side, so you'll never be dissapointed.

My weight is perfect for my height - which varies.

If your parents never had children, chances are you won't either.

Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has had their arm broken by a swan.

A picture may be worth a thousand words, but it uses up a thousand times more memory!

What three words will kill a mans ego? 'Is it in?'

I shall meet all of my deadlines directly in proportion to the amount of bodily injury I could expect to receive from missing them.

Tell me what you need and I'll tell you how to get along without it.