There will always be beer cans rolling on the floor of your car when the boss asks for a ride home from the office.
People who cannot make love make money.
I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
If we weren't meant to eat animals, why are they made of meat?
The easiest way to make your old car run better, is to check the prices of a new car.
The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. Sooooo, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!
Leaving sex to the feminists is like letting your dog vacation at the taxidermist.
I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. I said, 'Thyroid problem?'
There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.