Why is it that no matter what color of bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
BEER: HELPING UGLY PEOPLE HAVE SEX SINCE 3000 B.C.!!!
Flashlight: a case for holding dead batteries.
There will always be beer cans rolling on the floor of your car when the boss asks for a ride home from the office.
My weight is perfect for my height - which varies.
If your wife wants to learn how to drive, don't stand in her way.
It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
If you ever see me getting beaten by the police, put down the video camera and come help me.
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are attractive to the opposite sex.