If your feet smell and your nose runs, you're built upside down.
The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.
Men are always whining about how we are suffocating them. Personally, I think that if you can hear them whining, you're not pressing hard enough on the pillow.
How come we never hear any father-in-law jokes?
Advice for the day: If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: "Take two aspirin" and "Keep away from children".
A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression that he just cleaned the whole house.
Eat Well, Stay Fit, Die Anyway !
Men are like a fine wine. They start out as grapes, and it's up to women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.
What's another word for thesaurus?
Why is it that banks always make it sound like you are so lucky that they have extended your credit limit? I mean it's not like I won a prize, but more like extra bullets for my gun in a game of Russian Rolette...