A bad day of fishing is still better than a good day of work..!!!

All power corrupts. Absolute power is kinda neat, though.

By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.

Make love, not war. Hell, do both: get married!

I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.

Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are attractive to the opposite sex.

Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming----wow----what a ride!!

When kleptomania gets really bad, just take something for it.

We must believe in luck. For how else can we explain the success of those we don't like?

Drinking more than seven nights a week is not just irresponsible, it's impossible.