Joke Overflow –  Joke Archive

Random Thoughts

  • Don't assume malice for what stupidity can explain.

  • I don't have a license to kill but I do have a learner's permit.

  • All I want is a warm bed, a kind word and unlimited power.

  • Saw It... Wanted It... Had A Fit... Got It!

  • The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirable job, but if you ever get suckered into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house!

  • My wife and I were happy for twenty years.. Then we met.

  • Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.

  • My friend is engaged in a major custody battle. His wife doesn't want him and his mother won't take him back.

  • Our last fight was my fault: My wife asked me 'What's on the TV?' I said, 'Dust!'

  • Sometimes I think I understand everything, then I regain consciousness.

First time doing yoga