Joke Overflow –  Joke Archive

Random Thoughts

  • What is a 'free' gift? Aren't all gifts free???

  • A smoking section in a restaraunt is like a peeing section in a pool.

  • If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?

  • When I die, I want to die like my grandfather -- who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.

  • Food has replaced sex in my life .. now I can't even get into my own pants!

  • If at first the idea is not absurd, then there is no hope for it.

  • Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

  • Is it possible to be totally partial?

  • Everything of importance has been said before by somebody who did not discover it.

  • Stress is when you wake up screaming and then you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.

First time doing yoga