A little more moderation would be good. Of course, my life hasn't exactly been one of moderation.
Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
Men are always whining about how we are suffocating them. Personally, I think that if you can hear them whining, you're not pressing hard enough on the pillow.
If At First You Don't Succeed... Blame Someone Else And Seek Counseling.
Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level then beat you with experience.
When a man steals your wife,there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning.
I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. I said, 'Thyroid problem?'
Why do women always ask questions that have no right answers?
A smoking section in a restaraunt is like a peeing section in a pool.