It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.
I'm just another chicken having fun on the Rotisserie of life.
The other night I ate at a real family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.
Taxation WITH representation ain't much fun either.
Did you hear about the fat, alcoholic transvestite - All he wanted to do was eat, drink and be Mary.
Is it possible to be totally partial?
Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
As we slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point the wrong way.
If you can stay calm, while all around you is chaos...then you probably haven't completely understood the seriousness of the situation.
Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has had their arm broken by a swan.