A crust eaten in peace is better than a banquet partaken in anxiety.
After a night of drink, drugs and wild sex I woke up to find himself next to a really ugly woman. That's when I realised I had made it home safely.
If a man speaks in the forest, and no woman hears him, is he still wrong?
Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are "XL"
Men are always whining about how we are suffocating them. Personally, I think that if you can hear them whining, you're not pressing hard enough on the pillow.
I was a vegetarian until I started leaning towards sunlight.
Is it my imagination, or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?
According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about a woman is their eyes, and women say the first thing they notice about men is they're a bunch of liars.
The most precious thing we have is life. Yet it has absolutely no trade-in value.
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
As he lay on his deathbed, the man confided to his wife, “I cannot die without telling you the truth. I cheated on you throughout our whole marriage. All those nights when I told you I was working late, I was with other women. And not just one woman either, but I’ve slept with dozens of them.”
His wife looked at him calmly and said, “Why do you think I gave you the poison?”
