Joke Overflow –  Joke Archive

Random Thoughts

  • I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and I think, 'Well, that's not going to happen.'

  • Sign seen in a bar: "Those drinking to forget please pay in advance."

  • Why is it that banks always make it sound like you are so lucky that they have extended your credit limit? I mean it's not like I won a prize, but more like extra bullets for my gun in a game of Russian Rolette...

  • God made relatives; Thank God we can choose our friends.

  • The light at the end of the tunnel is the normally the headlight of the oncoming train.

  • You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

  • Everyone who grew up in the 80's has entered the digits 55378008 into a calculator.

  • Never trust a stockbroker who's married to a travel agent.

  • Joint Checking Account: a handly little device which permits my wife to beat me to the draw.

  • Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.



Archive for March, 2009

1. I’ll get a world record for this.

2. Let me reach in and get your watch out of the printing press.

3. It’s fireproof.

4. He’s probably just hibernating.

5. I’m making a citizen’s arrest.

6. So, you’re a cannibal.

7. It’s probably just a rash.

8. Yeah, I made the deciding vote on the jury, so what of it?

9. The odds of that happening have to be a million-to-one!

10. Pull the pin and count to what?

11. Which wire was I supposed to cut?

12. I wonder where the mother bear is.

13. I’ve seen this done on TV.

14. These are the good kind of mushrooms.

15. I’ll hold it and you light the fuse.

16. Funny, you look just like Charles Manson.

17. Rat poison only kills rats.

18. It can’t possibly rain for forty days and nights.

19. This doesn’t taste right.

20. I can make this light before it changes.

21. Nice doggie.

22. I can do that with my eyes closed.

Other Text Jokes

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    Written jokes about animals, pets, nature, bugs. Despite our best efforts we can't get PETA to sponsor this category.
  • Text Jokes - Bar & Alcohol

    (129)
    Written jokes about drunks and bars. A horse walked into a bar - the barman asked why the long face... you get the idea.
  • Text Jokes - Blonde

    (74)
    All humour websites are required to have written jokes about blondes. We're trying a different approach by portraying blondes in a positive light.
  • Text Jokes - Computers

    (93)
    Written jokes about IT, the office, computers and the people that operate them.
  • Text Jokes - Kids

    (155)
    Written jokes about kids, for kids (parental supervision required). Other peoples kids are always so cute where as it always seems your own kids crawled out of Satan's bottom.
  • Text Jokes - Lawyers

    (16)
    Written jokes about lawyers, normally portraying them in a negative light.
  • Text Jokes - Male & Female

    (836)
    Written jokes about man and woman. Who will win? Our last count saw women leading 2 to 1.
  • Text Jokes - Medical & Doctors

    (86)
    Written antics about doctors, nurses and general failings of the healthcare system.
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    Written jokes targeting politicians and people in the news.
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    Written jokes that we were too lazy to categorise. This category pretty much covers everything.
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    Written jokes not suitable for religious fanatics. We do not discriminate - we make fun of everyone.
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    Written antics about sports and the people that play them.
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    Text jokes about stupid people. This category is full of darwin awards and "I can't beliive he did that!"