Joke Overflow –  Joke Archive

Random Thoughts

  • Reason to smile: Every 7 minutes of every day, someone in an aerobics class pulls a hamstring.

  • Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

  • The easiest way to make your old car run better, is to check the prices of a new car.

  • I had a linguistics professor who said that it's man's ability to use language that makes him the dominant species on the planet. That may be, but I think there's one other thing that separates us from animals. We aren't afraid of vaccuum cleaners.

  • It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

  • On quiet nights when I'm alone, I like to run my wedding Video backwards just to watch myself walk out of church a free person!

  • INFLATION: Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.

  • If you drink don't park, accidents cause people.

  • Our last fight was my fault: My wife asked me 'What's on the TV?' I said, 'Dust!'

  • When something good happens, you drink in order to celebrate, when something bad happens, you drink in order to forget, and when nothing happens, you drink in order to make something happen!



Archive for October, 2009

Hitler ordered tanks to be made in Michigan and told the company to

not worry about sending them to Germany, he’d pick them up on his way

through Detroit.

In September 1994, Skydiving student Sharon McClelland amazingly

survived a 10,000-foot plunge in Ontario, by falling into a marsh

when her parachute malfunctioned. She struggled to her feet and

rushed to her instructor Kevin Killin – to apologize – because she

had not followed procedures to open her backup chute.

George Washington carried a portable sundial.

In the movie “Dances with Wolves”, not one animal was injured during

its filming, although there was a horse named “Dutch” who came down

with a nasty case of the runs.

Before the first landing on the moon (Apollo 11), NASA calculated the

amount of dust falling on the moon each year. Estimating the age of

the moon to be 4.5 billion years, it was figured that between 54 feet

and 900 feet of dust would be on the moon. The 1st lunar landing

module was equipped with huge landing pads to land on all of this

soft dust. However, when the astronauts landed they found virtually

no dust at all. Niel Armstrong’s 1st words after actually stepping on

the moon were “It’s SOLID!” This indicated that the moon is likely to

> Read the rest of this joke <

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