Joke Overflow –  Joke Archive

Random Thoughts

  • Those who live by the sword... get shot by those who don't.

  • I read somewhere that 77 per cent of all the mentally ill live in poverty. Actually, I'm more intrigued by the 23 per cent who are apparently doing quite well for themselves.

  • A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: 'Wife wanted'. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.'

  • Give a man a fish, feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, feed him for a lifetime. Give a kid a fish, it's gonna die. Have a story ready.

  • The trouble with being the best man at a wedding is that you never get to prove it.

  • Why is it that most nudists are people you don't want to see naked?

  • My friend is engaged in a major custody battle. His wife doesn't want him and his mother won't take him back.

  • Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.

  • Never give yourself a haircut after three margaritas.

  • Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.



Archive for January, 2010

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.On their wedding night, she told her new husband, “Please be gentle; I’m still a virgin.

What?” said the puzzled groom. “How can that be if you’ve been married ten times?

“Well, husband #1 was a Sales Representative;

he kept telling me how great it was going to be.

Husband #2 was in Software Services;

he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he’d look into it and get back to me.

Husband #3 was from Field Services;

he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn’t get the system up.

Husband #4 was in Telemarketing;

even though he knew he had the order, didn’t know when he would be able to deliver.

Husband #5 was an Engineer;

he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.

Husband #6 was from Finance and Administration;

he thought he knew how, but he wasn’t sure whether it was his job or not.

Husband #7 was in Marketing;

although he had a product, he was never sure how to position it.

Husband #8 was a psychiatrist;

all he ever did was talk about it.

Husband #9 was a gynecologist;

> Read the rest of this joke <

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