Archive for July, 2010

The first man was an Engineer, the second man was an

Accountant, the third man was a Chemist, the fourth was a

Government Worker. To show off, the Engineer called to his

cat, “T-square, do your stuff.” T-square pranced over to a

desk, took out some paper and a pen and promptly drew a

circle, a square, and a triangle. Everyone agreed that was

pretty smart.

But the Accountant said his cat could do better. He called

his cat and said, “Spreadsheet, do your stuff.” Spreadsheet

went out into the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies.

He divided them into four equal piles oft hree cookies each.

Everyone agreed that was good.

But the Chemist said his cat could do better. He called his

cat and said, “Measure, do your stuff.” Measure got up,

walked over to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a

ten-ounce glass from the cupboard and poured exactly eight

ounces without spilling a drop. Everyone agreed that was

good.

Then the three men turned to the government Worker and said,

An old woman walked into a bank and asked for the manager. He took her into a small room, and asked him if she could take out a loan of $500.000. He asked her how she was ever gonna pay it back.

“I make bets,” she answered slyly.

“What?” replied the manager.

“I make bets with people, and win their money. Take this for example: I’ll bet you $25,000 that your balls are square.”

“You’re on,” said the Bank Manager, feeling quietly confident.

The next day granny and her accountant came by the bank and went to see the bank manager.

“Now then,” she said, “to make this fair, I have brought along my accountant. Now pull your trousers down.”

“OK, anything for 25 grand…” he said

“I’ll just get a wee feel now, to make sure.”

While granny was doing this, the accountant began to bang his head on the wall.

“HAHA!!! They’re round!” cried a delighted bank manager. “By the way, what’s wrong with your accountant?”

“I bet him $500,000 that I’d have the bank manager by the balls on Friday morning!”