Joke Overflow –  Joke Archive

Random Thoughts

  • Never play strip poker with a nudist, they have nothing to lose.

  • If women DON'T fool around, and men DO fool around, who are the men fooling around with?

  • No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her crap.

  • How come when you first pull the drapery cord the drapes always move the wrong way?

  • Brain cells come, and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.

  • The trouble with being the best man at a wedding is that you never get to prove it.

  • There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.

  • When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

  • Why is it that no matter what color of bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

  • And Jesus said to John, "Come forth and I will give you eternal life." - John came fifth, so he won a toaster.



Archive for the ‘All Text Jokes’ Category

A woman asks her husband at breakfast time, “Would you like some bacon and eggs, a slice of toast, and maybe some grapefruit juice and coffee?”

 

He  declines.  “Thanks for asking, but I’m not hungry right now.  It’s this Viagra,” he says.  “It’s really taken the edge off my  appetite.”

 

At lunchtime, she asked him if he  would like something.  “How about a bowl of soup, homemade muffins or a cheese sandwich?”

 

He declines. “The Viagra,” he says,  “It’s really spoiled my need for food.”

 

Come dinnertime, she asks if he wants anything to eat.   “Would you like a juicy rib eye steak and some scrumptious apple pie?  Or maybe a  rotisserie chicken or tasty stir fry?”

 

He  declines again. “No,” he says, “it’s got to be the Viagra.  I’m still not hungry.”

 

“Well,” she says, “Would you mind getting off me?   I’m bloody  starving.”

Other Text Jokes

  • Text Jokes - Animals

    (187)
    Written jokes about animals, pets, nature, bugs. Despite our best efforts we can't get PETA to sponsor this category.
  • Text Jokes - Bar & Alcohol

    (129)
    Written jokes about drunks and bars. A horse walked into a bar - the barman asked why the long face... you get the idea.
  • Text Jokes - Blonde

    (74)
    All humour websites are required to have written jokes about blondes. We're trying a different approach by portraying blondes in a positive light.
  • Text Jokes - Computers

    (93)
    Written jokes about IT, the office, computers and the people that operate them.
  • Text Jokes - Kids

    (155)
    Written jokes about kids, for kids (parental supervision required). Other peoples kids are always so cute where as it always seems your own kids crawled out of Satan's bottom.
  • Text Jokes - Lawyers

    (16)
    Written jokes about lawyers, normally portraying them in a negative light.
  • Text Jokes - Male & Female

    (836)
    Written jokes about man and woman. Who will win? Our last count saw women leading 2 to 1.
  • Text Jokes - Medical & Doctors

    (86)
    Written antics about doctors, nurses and general failings of the healthcare system.
  • Text Jokes - News & Politics

    (173)
    Written jokes targeting politicians and people in the news.
  • Text Jokes - Random

    (324)
    Written jokes that we were too lazy to categorise. This category pretty much covers everything.
  • Text Jokes - Religion

    (123)
    Written jokes not suitable for religious fanatics. We do not discriminate - we make fun of everyone.
  • Text Jokes - Sports

    (89)
    Written antics about sports and the people that play them.
  • Text Jokes - Stupid People

    (29)
    Text jokes about stupid people. This category is full of darwin awards and "I can't beliive he did that!"