Joke Overflow –  Joke Archive

Random Thoughts

  • I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I've ever known.

  • Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

  • A day without sunshine is like, well, night.

  • Beer - helping white people dance since 1837.

  • Flashlight: a case for holding dead batteries.

  • Never play strip poker with a nudist, they have nothing to lose.

  • I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and I think, 'Well, that's not going to happen.'

  • Wherever you go, there you are. Your luggage is another story.

  • Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings, they did it by killing all people who opposed them.

  • A Woman's Rule of Thumb: If it has tires or testicles, you're going to have trouble with it.



Archive for the ‘Text Jokes – Animals’ Category

A male whale and a female whale were swimming off the coast of Japan when

they noticed a whaling ship. The male whale recognised it as the same ship

that had harpooned his father many years earlier.

He said to the female whale, “Lets both swim under the ship and blow out of

our air holes at the same time and it should cause the ship to turn over and

sink.”

They tried it and sure enough, the ship turned over and quickly sank.

Soon however, the whales realised the sailors had jumped overboard and were

swimming to the safety of shore.

The male was enraged that they were going to get away and said to the

female, “lets swim after them and gobble them up before they reach the

shore.” At this point, the male whale realised the female was becoming

reluctant to follow him.

“What’s the matter darling?”

“Look,” she said, “I went along with the blow job, but I absolutely refuse

to swallow the seamen.”

Other Text Jokes

  • Text Jokes - Animals

    (187)
    Written jokes about animals, pets, nature, bugs. Despite our best efforts we can't get PETA to sponsor this category.
  • Text Jokes - Bar & Alcohol

    (129)
    Written jokes about drunks and bars. A horse walked into a bar - the barman asked why the long face... you get the idea.
  • Text Jokes - Blonde

    (74)
    All humour websites are required to have written jokes about blondes. We're trying a different approach by portraying blondes in a positive light.
  • Text Jokes - Computers

    (93)
    Written jokes about IT, the office, computers and the people that operate them.
  • Text Jokes - Kids

    (155)
    Written jokes about kids, for kids (parental supervision required). Other peoples kids are always so cute where as it always seems your own kids crawled out of Satan's bottom.
  • Text Jokes - Lawyers

    (16)
    Written jokes about lawyers, normally portraying them in a negative light.
  • Text Jokes - Male & Female

    (836)
    Written jokes about man and woman. Who will win? Our last count saw women leading 2 to 1.
  • Text Jokes - Medical & Doctors

    (87)
    Written antics about doctors, nurses and general failings of the healthcare system.
  • Text Jokes - News & Politics

    (174)
    Written jokes targeting politicians and people in the news.
  • Text Jokes - Random

    (324)
    Written jokes that we were too lazy to categorise. This category pretty much covers everything.
  • Text Jokes - Religion

    (123)
    Written jokes not suitable for religious fanatics. We do not discriminate - we make fun of everyone.
  • Text Jokes - Sports

    (90)
    Written antics about sports and the people that play them.
  • Text Jokes - Stupid People

    (29)
    Text jokes about stupid people. This category is full of darwin awards and "I can't beliive he did that!"