You are always doing something marginal when the boss drops by your desk.
Confession is good for the soul but bad for your career.
I had a linguistics professor who said that it's man's ability to use language that makes him the dominant species on the planet. That may be, but I think there's one other thing that separates us from animals. We aren't afraid of vaccuum cleaners.
I haven't lost my mind, it's backed up on disk somewhere...
People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one.
I'm gonna live forever, or die trying.
Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
I'm not into working out. My philosophy is no pain, no pain.
You can't respect a man who carries a dog.
Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, I could be eating a slow learner.
* Luckily “Hurricane Sandy” was not exposed to STD’s when passing through Jersey Shore.
* What do Snooki and “Hurricane Sandy” have in common? They will blow the entire east coast to get on TV.
* Nothing like “Hurricane Sandy” to make me realize what’s really important in life… internet access.
* Did someone say “Sandy” was blowing people?
* Hurricane Sandy, proof that Gangnam style is an Indian Rain Dance.
