A mate of mine recently admitted to being addicted to brake fluid. When I quizzed him on it he reckoned he could stop any time….
I went to the cemetery yesterday to lay some flowers on a grave. As I was standing there I noticed 4 pall bearers walking about with a coffin, 3 hours later and they’re still walking about with it. I thought to myself, they’ve lost the plot !
I was at a cashpoint/ATM machine yesterday when a little old lady asked if I could check her balance, so I pushed her over.
A new Middle East crisis erupted last night as Dubai Television was refused permission to broadcast ‘The Flintstones’. A spokesman for the channel said, A claim was made that people in Dubai would not understand the humour, but we know for a fact that people in Abu Dhabi Do.
My daughter asked me for a pet spider for her birthday, so I went to our local pet shop and they were £70 ! Sod this, I thought, I can get one much cheaper off the web.
Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarves are not happy.
I start a new job in Seoul next week. I thought it was a good Korea move.
I was driving this morning when I saw an RAC van parked up. The driver was sobbing uncontrollably and looked very miserable. I thought to myself that guy’s heading for a breakdown.
