The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

Leaving sex to the feminists is like letting your dog vacation at the taxidermist.

If You Can't Dazzle Them With Brilliance, Riddle Them With Bullets.

When it becomes a crime to love, you should probably consider dating outside the family.

Does a clean house indicate that there is a broken computer in it?

Definition of pressure:.....A wife, a mistress and a mortgage all a month late.

Never trust a stockbroker who's married to a travel agent.

I've decided that to raise my grades, I must lower my standards.

It's better to have Loved and Lost than to live with an asshole the rest of your life!

Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection make him a sandwich!