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Random Thoughts

  • Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?

  • Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships.

  • Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you're in.

  • The problem with the future is that it keeps turning into the present.

  • It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

  • Welcome To Shit Creek ~ Sorry, We're Out of Paddles!

  • Remember, half the people you know are below average.

  • Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.

  • Dreaming frees the soul, energizes the spirit and allows you to do things that would get your ass thrown in jail if you really tried them.

  • Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.



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