He who laughs last thinks slowest.
Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
It's not how you pick your nose, but where you put the booger.
Finally 21, and Legally Able to Do Everything I've Been doing since 15
There is a very fine line between "hobby" and mental illness.
Don't assume malice for what stupidity can explain.
I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once. The seat folded up, the drink spilled and that ice, well, it really chilled the mood.
God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.
Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.
It's better to have Loved and Lost than to live with an asshole the rest of your life!