Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning.
Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.
My grandfather's a little forgetful, but he likes to give me advice. One day, he took me aside and left me there.
It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.
Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.
If your wife wants to learn how to drive, don't stand in her way.
My Grandfather is eighty and still doesn't need glasses...He drinks straight out of the bottle.
I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and I think, 'Well, that's not going to happen.'
My wife says I never listen to her...at least I think that's what she said.
If at first the idea is not absurd, then there is no hope for it.