Joke Overflow –  Joke Archive

Random Thoughts

  • Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant.

  • You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.

  • Remember "I" before "E", except in Heineken.

  • Is it possible to be totally partial?

  • When something good happens, you drink in order to celebrate, when something bad happens, you drink in order to forget, and when nothing happens, you drink in order to make something happen!

  • I read somewhere that 77 per cent of all the mentally ill live in poverty. Actually, I'm more intrigued by the 23 per cent who are apparently doing quite well for themselves.

  • Since light travels faster than sound, people appear bright until you hear them speak.

  • Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning.

  • I'm just another chicken having fun on the Rotisserie of life.

  • Men are like a fine wine. They start out as grapes, and it's up to women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.

Wet feet

Some animals dislike getting their feet wet.