Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the "y" becomes silent.
The most embarrassing thing you can do as a school child is to call your teacher Mum or Dad.
Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, I could be eating a slow learner.
Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
Taxation WITH representation ain't much fun either.
Your future depends on your dreams, So go to sleep!
I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just assholes.
After a night of drink, drugs and wild sex I woke up to find himself next to a really ugly woman. That's when I realised I had made it home safely.
A flat will occur when you are without a spare. This will happen after your significant other has reminded you to get one. He/She will be in the car.
Never miss a good chance to shut up.