A snooze button is a poor substitute for no alarm clock at all.
Money is not everything. There's Mastercard & Visa.
In the animal kingdom, the rule is, eat or be eaten; in the human kingdom, define or be defined.
Eat one live toad first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you for the rest of the day.
By the time a man's wife learns to understand him, she has usually stopped listening to him.
Why doesn't toothpaste ever go rotten?
I got a sweater for Christmas... I wanted a screamer or a moaner.
God made relatives; Thank God we can choose our friends.
See, the problem is that God gives man a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.
A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.