See, the problem is that God gives man a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.
I have the body of a god ... Buddha.
There will always be beer cans rolling on the floor of your car when the boss asks for a ride home from the office.
Don't assume malice for what stupidity can explain.
How hungry was the first person who opened an oyster and STILL ate it?
There are two kinds of pedestrians- the quick and the dead.
A girl phoned me the other day and said, "Come on over; nobody's home." I went over. Nobody was home.
If raising children was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labor!
Tell a man there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you... Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.
God created cats so that men could learn to understand women.