I'm a psychic amnesiac. I know in advance what I'll forget.

If At First You Don't Succeed... Blame Someone Else And Seek Counseling.

Good judgment comes from experience. Unfortunately, the experience usually comes from bad judgment.

I married my wife for her looks ... but not the ones she's been giving me lately!

Genetic scientists in the US have used genes from Michael Jackson and Arnold Schwarzanegger to create a clone and have called it ... Michael Wasanigger.

He who dies with the most toys is still dead.

Always take time to stop and smell the roses... and sooner or later, you'll inhale a bee.

The best way to forget all your troubles is to wear tight shoes.

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

I had amnesia once -- or twice.