People who don't drive, slam car doors too hard.
It's what people don't know about each other that makes them such good friends.
No one is listening until you fart.
If your feet smell and your nose runs, you're built upside down.
When a man steals your wife,there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
If you have them by their balls, their hearts and minds will follow.
Why do women never say what they want or mean because they always expect men to innately know what they are thinking? Do they think men are psychic?
The most painful household incident is wearing socks and stepping on an upturned plug.
What is a 'free' gift? Aren't all gifts free???
I'm gonna live forever, or die trying.