Joke Overflow –  Joke Archive

Random Thoughts

  • I have always wished that my computer would be as easy to use as my telephone. My wish has come true. I no longer know how to use my telephone.

  • Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

  • Never miss a good chance to shut up.

  • My cousin just died. He was only 19. He got stung by a bee - the natural enemy of a tightrope walker.

  • Is it my imagination, or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?

  • There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt.

  • I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.

  • How do those dead bugs get into closed light fixtures?

  • Photons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.

  • Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook. But the law allows only one wife.

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