Joke Overflow –  Joke Archive

Random Thoughts

  • Build a fire for a man, and keep him warm for a few hours. Set a man on fire and keep him warm for the rest of his life.

  • I'm not into working out. My philosophy is no pain, no pain.

  • Why do women never say what they want or mean because they always expect men to innately know what they are thinking? Do they think men are psychic?

  • Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.

  • Why is it that banks always make it sound like you are so lucky that they have extended your credit limit? I mean it's not like I won a prize, but more like extra bullets for my gun in a game of Russian Rolette...

  • Statistics say that women think they are smarter than men because they can fake an orgasm. Big deal , try faking a relationship just for a giggle!

  • I am the same today as I was tomorrow.

  • The Dark Ages was caused by the Y1K problem.

  • Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again!

  • A paranoid is someone who knows a little of what's going on.

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