Joke Overflow –  Joke Archive

Random Thoughts

  • If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.

  • I had a linguistics professor who said that it's man's ability to use language that makes him the dominant species on the planet. That may be, but I think there's one other thing that separates us from animals. We aren't afraid of vaccuum cleaners.

  • Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?

  • My wife and I were happy for twenty years.. Then we met.

  • They keep telling us to get in touch with our bodies. Mine isn't all that communicative but I heard from it the other day after I said, "Body, how'd you like to go to the six o'clock class in vigorous toning?" Clear as a bell my body said, "Listen it and die."

  • I've learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you'd better have a big willy or huge boobs.

  • Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.

  • A penny saved is a government oversight.

  • An apple a day keeps the doctor away... so does having no medical insurance.

  • The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.

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