See, the problem is that God gives man a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.
What are the three words you never want to hear while making love? Honey, I'm home.
In the '60s people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
Men are always whining about how we are suffocating them. Personally, I think that if you can hear them whining, you're not pressing hard enough on the pillow.
All generalizations are false, including this one.
If at first you don't succeed shouldn't you try doing it like your wife told you to?
Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives.
You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
If the world was a logical place, men would ride horses sidesaddle.
What three words will kill a mans ego? 'Is it in?'