If You Can't Dazzle Them With Brilliance, Riddle Them With Bullets.

Tell me what you need and I'll tell you how to get along without it.

If voting could really change things, it would be illegal.

The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, But also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.

Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.

Rummaging in an overgrown garden will always turn up a bouncy ball.

God made relatives; Thank God we can choose our friends.

Marriage changes passion...suddenly you're in bed with a relative.

Smoking helps you lose weight .. one lung at a time!

My wife says I never listen to her...at least I think that's what she said.