What three words will kill a mans ego? 'Is it in?'

He who laughs last thinks slowest.

This job is only a test had it been an actual job, you would have received raises, bonuses and promotions.

A Woman's Rule of Thumb: If it has tires or testicles, you're going to have trouble with it.

I'm not weird... weird is Chinese slippers and break-dance pants!

My Grandfather is eighty and still doesn't need glasses...He drinks straight out of the bottle.

When a man steals your wife,there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

A pat on the back is only a few centimetres from a kick in the pants.

Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings, they did it by killing all people who opposed them.

It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.