People who cannot make love make money.

A Woman's Rule of Thumb: If it has tires or testicles, you're going to have trouble with it.

A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.

Always take time to stop and smell the roses... and sooner or later, you'll inhale a bee.

If life deals you lemons, make lemonade; if it deals you tomatoes, make Bloody Marys. But if it deals you a truckload of hand grenades...now THAT'S a message!!

Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life.

What was the best thing BEFORE sliced bread?

How hungry was the first person who opened an oyster and STILL ate it?

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted and used against you.

I live in my own little world. But it's OK...they know me here.