In every plate of chips there is a bad chip.

Two fish are in a tank. One says to the other: "I'll man the guns, you drive."

It's not how you pick your nose, but where you put the booger.

NASA reports that galaxies are speeding away from earth at 90,000 miles a second. What do you suppose they know that we don't?

Why do old men wear their pants higher than younger men?

Always take time to stop and smell the roses... and sooner or later, you'll inhale a bee.

Why do women never say what they want or mean because they always expect men to innately know what they are thinking? Do they think men are psychic?

He who laughs last thinks slowest.

You know "that look" women get when they want sex? Me neither.

Programming is like sex. One mistake and you have to support it for life.