Taxation WITH representation ain't much fun either.

Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they can in prison?

Some people kiss with their eyes closed. Too bad they marry the same way.

A girl phoned me the other day and said, "Come on over; nobody's home." I went over. Nobody was home.

Toilet stolen from police station. Cops have nothing to go on.

Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.

Definition of a teenager? God's punishment for enjoying sex.

Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level then beat you with experience.

When I'm finally holding all the cards, why does everyone decide to play chess?

Saw It... Wanted It... Had A Fit... Got It!