A day without sunshine is like, well, night.

If the world was a logical place, men would ride horses sidesaddle.

Life is tough. It's tougher if you're stupid.

It's better to have Loved and Lost than to live with an asshole the rest of your life!

Reason to smile: Every 7 minutes of every day, someone in an aerobics class pulls a hamstring.

Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.

Some days you are the bug; some days you are the windshield.

'Work fascinates me', I can look at it for hours.

Photons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.

This would be really funny if it weren't happening to me.