Capital punishment turns the state into a murderer. But imprisonment turns the state into a gay dungeon-master.

NASA reports that galaxies are speeding away from earth at 90,000 miles a second. What do you suppose they know that we don't?

Ham and eggs: Just a day's work for a chicken, but a lifetime commitment for a pig.

I'm a psychic amnesiac. I know in advance what I'll forget.

The most precious thing we have is life. Yet it has absolutely no trade-in value.

Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee, flushed half way through and then raced against the flush.

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.

Statistics say that women think they are smarter than men because they can fake an orgasm. Big deal , try faking a relationship just for a giggle!

To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a can!