Thank You For Pot Smoking!!
Food has replaced sex in my life .. now I can't even get into my own pants!
Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
Why is it that all of the instruments seeking intelligent life in the Universe are pointed away from Earth?
Stress is when you wake up screaming and then you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.
There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt.
Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.
I'm not into working out. My philosophy is no pain, no pain.
Even if the voices aren't real, they have some pretty good ideas.
Welcome To Shit Creek ~ Sorry, We're Out of Paddles!