To all you virgins - thanks for nothing.
There's two theories about arguing with a woman. Neither one works.
I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
I shall meet all of my deadlines directly in proportion to the amount of bodily injury I could expect to receive from missing them.
I'm not weird... weird is Chinese slippers and break-dance pants!
Birthdays are good for you; the more you have, the longer you live.
Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.
How come when you first pull the drapery cord the drapes always move the wrong way?
Always remember to pillage BEFORE you burn
They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.