Joke Overflow –  Joke Archive

Random Thoughts

  • Thank You For Pot Smoking!!

  • Food has replaced sex in my life .. now I can't even get into my own pants!

  • Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.

  • Why is it that all of the instruments seeking intelligent life in the Universe are pointed away from Earth?

  • Stress is when you wake up screaming and then you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.

  • There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt.

  • Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.

  • I'm not into working out. My philosophy is no pain, no pain.

  • Even if the voices aren't real, they have some pretty good ideas.

  • Welcome To Shit Creek ~ Sorry, We're Out of Paddles!

Being Bipolar