Our local Feng Shui Shop went bankrupt in a fortnight. It was in the wrong place.
My weight is perfect for my height - which varies.
The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.
I've been charged with murder for killing a man with sandpaper. To be honest I only intended to rough him up a bit.
The most embarrassing thing you can do as a school child is to call your teacher Mum or Dad.
Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are "XL"
When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to look like a nail.
Is it my imagination, or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?
Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.