Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant.
Accept that some days you are the pigeon and some days the statue.
Red meat is not bad for you, but fuzzy green meat is.
Our local Feng Shui Shop went bankrupt in a fortnight. It was in the wrong place.
My mate just hired an Eastern European cleaner, took her 5 hours to Hoover the house. Turns out she was a Slovak.
I was born intelligent - education ruined me.
My wife says I never listen to her...at least I think that's what she said.
Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat.
The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.