There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt.

Money is not everything. There's Mastercard & Visa.

Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the "y" becomes silent.

If Tennis Players get Tennis Elbow...Do gynecologists get Tunnel vision?

Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.

He who hesitates is probably right

Crime doesn't pay...does that mean that my job is a crime?

It's not hard to meet expenses... they're everywhere!

If raising children was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labor!

First Guy (proudly): 'My wife's an angel!' Second Guy: 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.'