I haven't lost my mind, it's backed up on disk somewhere...

Aim low, reach your goals, avoid disappointment.

'Work fascinates me', I can look at it for hours.

When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping." Now I just "chunky dunk."

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.... what more can I say........

Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.

Always take time to stop and smell the roses... and sooner or later, you'll inhale a bee.

What are the three words you never want to hear while making love? Honey, I'm home.

Crime doesn't pay...does that mean that my job is a crime?

I don't do drugs anymore 'cause I find I get the same effect just standing up really fast.