Eat Well, Stay Fit, Die Anyway !
Boldly Going Nowhere
What are the three words you never want to hear while making love? Honey, I'm home.
Take all your dumps at work. Not only will you save money on toilet paper, but you'll also be getting paid for it.
I've learned that you can keep vomiting long after you think you're finished.
If Tennis Players get Tennis Elbow...Do gynecologists get Tunnel vision?
I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize
Good judgment comes from experience. Unfortunately, the experience usually comes from bad judgment.
Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.
I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. I said, 'Thyroid problem?'