A pessimist is a person who has had to listen to too many optimists.
I don't approve of political jokes...I've seen too many of them get elected.
Rummaging in an overgrown garden will always turn up a bouncy ball.
A fool and his money can throw one heck of a party.
Food has replaced sex in my life .. now I can't even get into my own pants!
You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood specifically to stir paint with.
Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage.
Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.
There's two theories about arguing with a woman. Neither one works.
Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to edge his car onto a freeway.