Marriage is bliss. Ignorance is bliss. Ergo...
I always leave an empty milk carton in the refrigerator just in case someone wants their coffee black.
And God said: 'Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on Me. And let there be lawyers, so people don't blame everything on Satan.'
When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
There are two sides to every divorce: Yours and shithead's.
Seen it all, done it all. Can't remember most of it.
I was born intelligent - education ruined me.
The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the first given opportunity.
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.
I'm a freelance gynaecologist