Joke Overflow –  Joke Archive

Random Thoughts

  • If voting could really change things, it would be illegal.

  • You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood specifically to stir paint with.

  • If raising children was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labor!

  • One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people.

  • If you're being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire. They're trained for that.

  • The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.

  • The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.

  • Love is a matter of chemistry, sex is a matter of physics.

  • If all the veins in your body were laid end-to-end, you'd be dead.

  • My wife and I were happy for twenty years.. Then we met.

Door Alarms

Someone startled the door and now it's alarmed