Beer - helping white people dance since 1837.
If cats and dogs didn't have fur would we still pet them?
The speed of time is one-second per second.
Love is a matter of chemistry, sex is a matter of physics.
Birds of a feather flock together and crap on your car.
Why is it that when we talk to God we're said to be praying, but when God talks to us we're schizophrenic?
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
Why isn't there a special name for the back of your knee?
The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.
If we weren't meant to eat animals, why are they made of meat?