If voting could really change things, it would be illegal.
You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood specifically to stir paint with.
If raising children was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labor!
One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people.
If you're being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire. They're trained for that.
The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.
The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.
Love is a matter of chemistry, sex is a matter of physics.
If all the veins in your body were laid end-to-end, you'd be dead.
My wife and I were happy for twenty years.. Then we met.