Sometimes I think I understand everything, then I regain consciousness.
A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.
I firmly believe that tomorrow holds the possibility for new technologies, astounding discoveries, and a reprieve from my obligations.
And Jesus said to John, "Come forth and I will give you eternal life." - John came fifth, so he won a toaster.
Take all your dumps at work. Not only will you save money on toilet paper, but you'll also be getting paid for it.
Seen it all, done it all. Can't remember most of it.
Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant.
My reality check bounced.
The Dark Ages was caused by the Y1K problem.
My mind not only wanders, it sometimes leaves completely.