Joke Overflow –  Joke Archive

Random Thoughts

  • Reason to smile: Every 7 minutes of every day, someone in an aerobics class pulls a hamstring.

  • Definition of pressure:.....A wife, a mistress and a mortgage all a month late.

  • On quiet nights when I'm alone, I like to run my wedding Video backwards just to watch myself walk out of church a free person!

  • A little bit of love goes a long way in our lives. It can provide us with higher highs and lower lows. But, if it comes with a persistent burning sensation, see your physician.

  • I'm not into working out. My philosophy is no pain, no pain.

  • Some mornings I wake up grumpy, other mornings I just let her sleep!

  • The more you learn, the more you know, the more you know, the more you forget. The more you forget, the less you know So.. why learn.

  • Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's wise words: "Don't pick that up, you don't know where it's been!"

  • Eat Well, Stay Fit, Die Anyway !

  • Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.

Door Alarms

Someone startled the door and now it's alarmed