My wife is a sex object. Every time I ask for sex, she objects.
Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to edge his car onto a freeway.
You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.
Why do women always ask questions that have no right answers?
If At First You Don't Succeed... Blame Someone Else And Seek Counseling.
Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives.
If at first the idea is not absurd, then there is no hope for it.
When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. Sooooo, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!
Your future depends on your dreams, So go to sleep!
I always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.