I shall meet all of my deadlines directly in proportion to the amount of bodily injury I could expect to receive from missing them.
BEER: HELPING UGLY PEOPLE HAVE SEX SINCE 3000 B.C.!!!
I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I've ever known.
You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
You are always doing something marginal when the boss drops by your desk.
Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, I could be eating a slow learner.
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
Gargling is a good way to see if your throat leaks.
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings ...... they did it by killing all those who opposed them.