You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
Saw It... Wanted It... Had A Fit... Got It!
I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a Great White or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.
I had a linguistics professor who said that it's man's ability to use language that makes him the dominant species on the planet. That may be, but I think there's one other thing that separates us from animals. We aren't afraid of vaccuum cleaners.
God created Man, stood back and admired what he created and said “WOW, this is a perfect creation”, then he proceeded to create woman, stood back and said “Oh well, this one will have to wear makeup”.
Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level then beat you with experience.
A day without sunshine is like, well, night.
Toilet stolen from police station. Cops have nothing to go on.
Photons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.
When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.