Joke Overflow –  Joke Archive

Random Thoughts

  • Condoms aren't completely safe. A friend of mine was wearing one and got hit by a bus.

  • Relationships are hard. It's like a full time job,and we should treat it like one. If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to leave you, they should give you two weeks' notice. There should be severance pay, and before they leave you, they should have to find you a temp.

  • My cousin just died. He was only 19. He got stung by a bee - the natural enemy of a tightrope walker.

  • Saw It... Wanted It... Had A Fit... Got It!

  • Advice for the day: If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: "Take two aspirin" and "Keep away from children".

  • Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life.

  • It's what people don't know about each other that makes them such good friends.

  • When kleptomania gets really bad, just take something for it.

  • Taxation WITH representation ain't much fun either.

  • I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.

Family Planning