'Work fascinates me', I can look at it for hours.
Marriage is a matter of give and take, but so far I haven't been able to find anybody who'll take what I have to give.
The Web brings people together because no matter what kind of a twisted sexual mutant you happen to be, you've got millions of pals out there. Type in 'Find people that have sex with goats that are on fire' and the computer will say, 'Specify type of goat.'
Anyone know the Capital of Bulemia?
You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, 'My goodness, you're right! I never would've thought of that!'
My wife is so ugly... A cannibal took one look at her and ordered salad.
The more you learn, the more you know, the more you know, the more you forget. The more you forget, the less you know So.. why learn.
A crust eaten in peace is better than a banquet partaken in anxiety.
My next house will have no kitchen - just vending machines and a large trash can.
A little more moderation would be good. Of course, my life hasn't exactly been one of moderation.