The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
Impotence: Nature's Way Of Saying 'No Hard Feelings'
Marriage is an institution... but who wants to live in an institution?
Marrying a divorced man is ecologically responsible. In a world where there are more women than men, it pays to recycle.
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
You can't have everything. Where would you put it?
When a man steals your wife,there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
The most enjoyable form of sex education is the Braille method.
I've been charged with murder for killing a man with sandpaper. To be honest I only intended to rough him up a bit.
Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.