Joint Checking Account: a handly little device which permits my wife to beat me to the draw.
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
A smoking section in a restaraunt is like a peeing section in a pool.
If women DON'T fool around, and men DO fool around, who are the men fooling around with?
If your wife wants to learn how to drive, don't stand in her way.
Capital punishment turns the state into a murderer. But imprisonment turns the state into a gay dungeon-master.
Is it my imagination, or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?
Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.
Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
When blondes have more fun, do they know it?