Joke Overflow –  Joke Archive

Random Thoughts

  • You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

  • Saw It... Wanted It... Had A Fit... Got It!

  • I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a Great White or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.

  • I had a linguistics professor who said that it's man's ability to use language that makes him the dominant species on the planet. That may be, but I think there's one other thing that separates us from animals. We aren't afraid of vaccuum cleaners.

  • God created Man, stood back and admired what he created and said “WOW, this is a perfect creation”, then he proceeded to create woman, stood back and said “Oh well, this one will have to wear makeup”.

  • Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level then beat you with experience.

  • A day without sunshine is like, well, night.

  • Toilet stolen from police station. Cops have nothing to go on.

  • Photons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.

  • When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.

Family Planning