'Work fascinates me', I can look at it for hours.
A smoking section in a restaraunt is like a peeing section in a pool.
Why do women always ask questions that have no right answers?
NASA reports that galaxies are speeding away from earth at 90,000 miles a second. What do you suppose they know that we don't?
I read somewhere that 77 per cent of all the mentally ill live in poverty. Actually, I'm more intrigued by the 23 per cent who are apparently doing quite well for themselves.
When I was a kid, I had two friends, and they were imaginary and they would only play with each other.
Definition of pressure:.....A wife, a mistress and a mortgage all a month late.
I've learned that you can keep vomiting long after you think you're finished.
Sign seen in a bar: "Those drinking to forget please pay in advance."
A pessimist is a person who has had to listen to too many optimists.