Doing the job RIGHT the first time gets the job done. Doing the job WRONG fourteen times gives you job security.
I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I've ever known.
If bankers can count, how come they have eight windows and only four tellers?
If your feet smell and your nose runs, you're built upside down.
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work, I want to achieve immortality through not dying.
Why do women never say what they want or mean because they always expect men to innately know what they are thinking? Do they think men are psychic?
The trouble with being the best man at a wedding is that you never get to prove it.
If it seems too good to be true, it probably is.
If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed.
Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.