Joke Overflow –  Joke Archive

Random Thoughts

  • Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

  • After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.

  • You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, 'My goodness, you're right! I never would've thought of that!'

  • Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

  • Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage.

  • In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.

  • I've learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you'd better have a big willy or huge boobs.

  • I've been doing the Fonda workout: the Peter Fonda workout. That's where I wake up, take a hit of acid, smoke a joint, and go to my sister's house and ask her for money.

  • Never ask a 3-year old to hold a tomato.

  • I was born intelligent - education ruined me.

Happy Hour

50c drafts Monday through Friday - until someone pees. Would hate to be that guy.