An erection does not constitute personal growth
I have always wished that my computer would be as easy to use as my telephone. My wish has come true. I no longer know how to use my telephone.
Why are the needy only thought of during the holidays? Aren't they just as needy throughout the rest of the year?
Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.
Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning.
My wife says I never listen to her...at least I think that's what she said.
Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings, they did it by killing all people who opposed them.
You can't respect a man who carries a dog.
Sometimes I think I understand everything, then I regain consciousness.
I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.