You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted and used against you.
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
No woman will ever be satisfied because no man will ever have a chocolate penis that shoots out money.
Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to edge his car onto a freeway.
Statistics tell us that married men are likely to live 3 years longer than single men. But psychology tells us that married men are more willing to die.
Two can live as cheaply as one, for half as long.
College is like a woman: You work so hard to get in, and nine months later, you wish you had not come.
All generalizations are false, including this one.
I had a blind date last night. Her name was :. .:: :.: .:. .::.