Is it possible to be totally partial?
Love thy neighbor, but make sure her husband is away first.
Why do old men wear their pants higher than younger men?
If you can stay calm, while all around you is chaos...then you probably haven't completely understood the seriousness of the situation.
No one is listening until you break wind.
Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.
If you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.
Woman are like Prawns. Their heads are full of shit, but their pink parts are quite awesome.
He who dies with the most toys is still dead.
Always look on the negative side, so you'll never be dissapointed.