Crime doesn't pay...does that mean that my job is a crime?

Thank You For Pot Smoking!!

There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, 'I know what I'm doing; just show me somebody naked.'

Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.

INFLATION: Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.

I don't suffer from stress. I am a carrier.

Heart Attacks...God's Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends.

According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about a woman is their eyes, and women say the first thing they notice about men is they're a bunch of liars.

You can't respect a man who carries a dog.

When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to look like a nail.