Crime doesn't pay...does that mean that my job is a crime?
Thank You For Pot Smoking!!
There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, 'I know what I'm doing; just show me somebody naked.'
Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.
INFLATION: Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.
I don't suffer from stress. I am a carrier.
Heart Attacks...God's Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends.
According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about a woman is their eyes, and women say the first thing they notice about men is they're a bunch of liars.
You can't respect a man who carries a dog.
When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to look like a nail.