Joke Overflow –  Joke Archive

Random Thoughts

  • If a man speaks in the forest, and no woman hears him, is he still wrong?

  • It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky. Unless, of course, they're flying.

  • There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.

  • I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.

  • When kleptomania gets really bad, just take something for it.

  • Seen it all, done it all. Can't remember most of it.

  • I am a nobody, and nobody is perfect; therefore I am perfect.

  • I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. I said, 'Thyroid problem?'

  • Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook. But the law allows only one wife.

  • My wife is so ugly... A cannibal took one look at her and ordered salad.