Joke Overflow –  Joke Archive

Random Thoughts

  • I haven't lost my mind, it's backed up on disk somewhere...

  • The early worm gets eaten by the bird, so sleep late.

  • If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?

  • 'Hard work never killed anybody', but why take the risk...

  • If carrots are so good for the eyes, how come I see so many dead rabbits on the highway?

  • Always remember to pillage BEFORE you burn

  • They say a smile is a gift, which is free to the giver and precious to the recipient. But giving the finger is free, too, and I find it more personal and sincere.

  • Why are the needy only thought of during the holidays? Aren't they just as needy throughout the rest of the year?

  • Is there ever a day when mattresses are NOT on sale?

  • Is it possible to be totally partial?