The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.
Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
At work, the authority of a person is inversely proportional to the number of pens that person is carrying.
Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant.
If bankers can count, how come they have eight windows and only four tellers?
One should love animals. They are so tasty.
There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, 'I know what I'm doing; just show me somebody naked.'
A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted and used against you.
If at first the idea is not absurd, then there is no hope for it.