I haven't lost my mind, it's backed up on disk somewhere...
The early worm gets eaten by the bird, so sleep late.
If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?
'Hard work never killed anybody', but why take the risk...
If carrots are so good for the eyes, how come I see so many dead rabbits on the highway?
Always remember to pillage BEFORE you burn
They say a smile is a gift, which is free to the giver and precious to the recipient. But giving the finger is free, too, and I find it more personal and sincere.
Why are the needy only thought of during the holidays? Aren't they just as needy throughout the rest of the year?
Is there ever a day when mattresses are NOT on sale?
Is it possible to be totally partial?