INFLATION: Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

I believe that if anything is worth doing, it would have been done already.

I read somewhere that 77 per cent of all the mentally ill live in poverty. Actually, I'm more intrigued by the 23 per cent who are apparently doing quite well for themselves.

When I die, I want to die like my grandfather -- who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.

People who don't drive, slam car doors too hard.

The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, But also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.

What do people mean when they say the computer went down on them?

How hungry was the first person who opened an oyster and STILL ate it?

I'm just another chicken having fun on the Rotisserie of life.