Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.

Every morning is the dawn of a new error...

Some mornings I wake up grumpy, other mornings I just let her sleep!

Never play strip poker with a nudist, they have nothing to lose.

Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning.

Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.

INFLATION: Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.

I was born intelligent - education ruined me.

I have such poor vision I can date anybody.

I date this girl for two years, and then the nagging starts: "I wanna know your name..."