No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers.
People who cannot make love make money.
Life is tough. It's tougher if you're stupid.
The early worm gets eaten by the bird, so sleep late.
And God said: 'Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on Me. And let there be lawyers, so people don't blame everything on Satan.'
I started out with nothing and still have most of it left!
Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's wise words: "Don't pick that up, you don't know where it's been!"
Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God's final word on where your lips end.
There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.
Tell a man there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you... Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.