I just new I was in big trouble at work when the new policy on sexual harassment included a photo of me.
You can't have everything. Where would you put it?
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
In marriage, the bride gets a shower. But for the groom, it's curtains!
A bachelor is a man who believes in life, liberty, and the happiness of pursuit.
My wife says I never listen to her...at least I think that's what she said.
What three words will kill a mans ego? 'Is it in?'
This would be really funny if it weren't happening to me.
Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning.
A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.