Crime doesn't pay...does that mean that my job is a crime?
There should be a better way to start a day than waking up every morning.
Cat: The Other White Meat
One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people.
Toilet stolen from police station. Cops have nothing to go on.
There's two theories about arguing with a woman. Neither one works.
I poured Spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.
It's a small world. So you've got to use your elbows a lot.
Eat Well, Stay Fit, Die Anyway !
Leaving sex to the feminists is like letting your dog vacation at the taxidermist.