Joke Overflow –  Joke Archive

Random Thoughts

  • I was born intelligent - education ruined me.

  • Love thy neighbor, but make sure her husband is away first.

  • Why is it that most nudists are people you don't want to see naked?

  • How come we never hear any father-in-law jokes?

  • Tell me what you need and I'll tell you how to get along without it.

  • I had a linguistics professor who said that it's man's ability to use language that makes him the dominant species on the planet. That may be, but I think there's one other thing that separates us from animals. We aren't afraid of vaccuum cleaners.

  • Everyday I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days I've stayed alive.

  • If you're being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire. They're trained for that.

  • I've been doing the Fonda workout: the Peter Fonda workout. That's where I wake up, take a hit of acid, smoke a joint, and go to my sister's house and ask her for money.

  • I'm so depressed. My doctor refused to write me a prescription for Viagra. He said it would be like putting a new flagpole on a condemned building.

Singles Awareness Day