I'm gonna live forever, or die trying.
Since light travels faster than sound, people appear bright until you hear them speak.
When blondes have more fun, do they know it?
Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.
Even if the voices aren't real, they have some pretty good ideas.
When kleptomania gets really bad, just take something for it.
Turtles can breathe through their butts. - heh heh heh
My Grandfather is eighty and still doesn't need glasses...He drinks straight out of the bottle.
It's a small world. So you've got to use your elbows a lot.
Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming 1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it, 2. Whenever you're right, shut up.