A pessimist is a person who has had to listen to too many optimists.
The light at the end of the tunnel is the normally the headlight of the oncoming train.
Love is temporary insanity curable by marriage.
I'm just another chicken having fun on the Rotisserie of life.
There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.
If you can stay calm, while all around you is chaos...then you probably haven't completely understood the seriousness of the situation.
When kleptomania gets really bad, just take something for it.
If raising children was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labor!
Suburbia: where they tear out the trees & then name streets after them.
According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful.