If you can't get a lawyer who knows the law, get one who knows the judge.
Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.
A pat on the back is only a few centimetres from a kick in the pants.
Statistics tell us that married men are likely to live 3 years longer than single men. But psychology tells us that married men are more willing to die.
Practice makes perfect..... But nobody's perfect...... so why practice?
I don't have a license to kill but I do have a learner's permit.
Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school.
There are only two reasons to sit in the back row of an aeroplane: Either you have diarrhoea, or you're anxious to meet people who do.
I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level then beat you with experience.