In marriage, the bride gets a shower. But for the groom, it's curtains!
Brain cells come, and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.
If a man speaks in the forest, and no woman hears him, is he still wrong?
I've decided that to raise my grades, I must lower my standards.
If you don't believe in oral sex, keep your mouth shut.
Men: On the one hand, we'll never experience childbirth. On the other hand, we can open all our own jars.
Marriage changes passion...suddenly you're in bed with a relative.
Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a frisbee.
The worst thing about accidents, in the kitchen, is eating them.
Our last fight was my fault: My wife asked me 'What's on the TV?' I said, 'Dust!'