In marriage, the bride gets a shower. But for the groom, it's curtains!

Brain cells come, and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.

If a man speaks in the forest, and no woman hears him, is he still wrong?

I've decided that to raise my grades, I must lower my standards.

If you don't believe in oral sex, keep your mouth shut.

Men: On the one hand, we'll never experience childbirth. On the other hand, we can open all our own jars.

Marriage changes passion...suddenly you're in bed with a relative.

Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a frisbee.

The worst thing about accidents, in the kitchen, is eating them.

Our last fight was my fault: My wife asked me 'What's on the TV?' I said, 'Dust!'