Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew Up

It's not an optical illusion. It just looks like one.

Marriage is one of the chief causes of divorce.

Practice makes perfect..... But nobody's perfect...... so why practice?

Marriage is a 3-ring circus: Engagement Ring, Wedding Ring, Suffering.

I've learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you'd better have a big willy or huge boobs.

Smoking helps you lose weight .. one lung at a time!

What's another word for thesaurus?

Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?

When kleptomania gets really bad, just take something for it.