Joke Overflow –  Joke Archive

Random Thoughts

  • Seen it all, done it all. Can't remember most of it.

  • As we slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point the wrong way.

  • When kleptomania gets really bad, just take something for it.

  • When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to look like a nail.

  • It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky. Unless, of course, they're flying.

  • Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God's final word on where your lips end.

  • It's not an optical illusion. It just looks like one.

  • This job is only a test had it been an actual job, you would have received raises, bonuses and promotions.

  • I have such poor vision I can date anybody.

  • Advice for the day: If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: "Take two aspirin" and "Keep away from children".



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