BEER: HELPING UGLY PEOPLE HAVE SEX SINCE 3000 B.C.!!!

How hungry was the first person who opened an oyster and STILL ate it?

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.

An erection does not constitute personal growth

All I want is a warm bed, a kind word and unlimited power.

Marriage is one of the chief causes of divorce.

Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.

If your feet smell and your nose runs, you're built upside down.

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

My Grandfather is eighty and still doesn't need glasses...He drinks straight out of the bottle.