I started out with nothing and still have most of it left!

The greatest enemy of man is alcohol, but the bible tells us to love thy enemy...... I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!!

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 500SL convertible.

The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money costs less.

BEER: HELPING UGLY PEOPLE HAVE SEX SINCE 3000 B.C.!!!

It's a small world. So you've got to use your elbows a lot.

In the '60s people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

Why is it that when we talk to God we're said to be praying, but when God talks to us we're schizophrenic?

Anyone know the Capital of Bulemia?

A day without sunshine is like, well, night.