It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning.

After a night of drink, drugs and wild sex I woke up to find himself next to a really ugly woman. That's when I realised I had made it home safely.

The best way to forget all your troubles is to wear tight shoes.

When I was a kid, I had two friends, and they were imaginary and they would only play with each other.

No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.

To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a can!

Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.

Taxation WITH representation ain't much fun either.

Confession is good for the soul but bad for your career.