If cats and dogs didn't have fur would we still pet them?

If carrots are so good for the eyes, how come I see so many dead rabbits on the highway?

Food has replaced sex in my life .. now I can't even get into my own pants!

Marriage is one of the chief causes of divorce.

If you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.

It's what people don't know about each other that makes them such good friends.

Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

If your wife wants to learn how to drive, don't stand in her way.

They say a smile is a gift, which is free to the giver and precious to the recipient. But giving the finger is free, too, and I find it more personal and sincere.

The early worm gets eaten by the bird, so sleep late.