It's better to have Loved and Lost than to live with an asshole the rest of your life!
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
I don't have a license to kill but I do have a learner's permit.
I was a vegetarian until I started leaning towards sunlight.
My mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash and it is gone.
No one is listening until you break wind.
Photons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.
Marriage changes passion...suddenly you're in bed with a relative.
Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships.
Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.