Never miss a good chance to shut up.

Is it my imagination, or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?

The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.

How come we never hear any father-in-law jokes?

Taxation WITH representation ain't much fun either.

The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

What's another word for thesaurus?

God created cats so that men could learn to understand women.

At work, the authority of a person is inversely proportional to the number of pens that person is carrying.

After years of research, scientists have discovered what makes women happy. Nothing.