I poured Spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.
Never ask a 3-year old to hold a tomato.
The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
The things that come to those who wait may be the things left by those who got there first.
I love animals - They taste great!
The most enjoyable form of sex education is the Braille method.
Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, because you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
I started out with nothing and still have most of it left!
The greatest enemy of man is alcohol, but the bible tells us to love thy enemy...... I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!!
Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?