What do people mean when they say the computer went down on them?

A bad day of fishing is still better than a good day of work..!!!

Condoms aren't completely safe. A friend of mine was wearing one and got hit by a bus.

Advice for the day: If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: "Take two aspirin" and "Keep away from children".

Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression that he just cleaned the whole house.

In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted and used against you.

Welcome To Shit Creek ~ Sorry, We're Out of Paddles!

If At First You Don't Succeed... Blame Someone Else And Seek Counseling.