BEER: HELPING UGLY PEOPLE HAVE SEX SINCE 3000 B.C.!!!

Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection make him a sandwich!

When you look at Prince Charles, don't you think that someone in the Royal family knew someone in the Royal family?

College is like a woman: You work so hard to get in, and nine months later, you wish you had not come.

Statistics say that women think they are smarter than men because they can fake an orgasm. Big deal , try faking a relationship just for a giggle!

Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.

Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships.

I am a nobody, and nobody is perfect; therefore I am perfect.

Every morning is the dawn of a new error...

There will always be beer cans rolling on the floor of your car when the boss asks for a ride home from the office.