Tell me what you need and I'll tell you how to get along without it.

They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.

No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her crap.

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

I just new I was in big trouble at work when the new policy on sexual harassment included a photo of me.

Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once....

Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.

You are always doing something marginal when the boss drops by your desk.

Is it possible to be totally partial?