If voting could really change things, it would be illegal.

Money isn't everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch.

What do people mean when they say the computer went down on them?

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.... what more can I say........

I haven't lost my mind, it's backed up on disk somewhere...

A smoking section in a restaraunt is like a peeing section in a pool.

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook. But the law allows only one wife.

Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.

Birthdays are good for you; the more you have, the longer you live.