Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.
You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
Marriage changes passion...suddenly you're in bed with a relative.
Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships.
I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once. The seat folded up, the drink spilled and that ice, well, it really chilled the mood.
I was born intelligent - education ruined me.
A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: 'Wife wanted'. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.'
Our local Feng Shui Shop went bankrupt in a fortnight. It was in the wrong place.
Eat Well, Stay Fit, Die Anyway !
I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.