There should be a better way to start a day than waking up every morning.
People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one.
Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words "The" and "IRS" together it spells "THEIRS"?
Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to edge his car onto a freeway.
Men: On the one hand, we'll never experience childbirth. On the other hand, we can open all our own jars.
Boldly Going Nowhere
Make love, not war. Hell, do both: get married!
Those who live by the sword... get shot by those who don't.
By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
I've been doing the Fonda workout: the Peter Fonda workout. That's where I wake up, take a hit of acid, smoke a joint, and go to my sister's house and ask her for money.