The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.
Patience is the ability to idle your motor when you feel like stripping your gears.
Everything of importance has been said before by somebody who did not discover it.
What's another word for thesaurus?
Never ask a 3-year old to hold a tomato.
Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
Smoking helps you lose weight .. one lung at a time!
Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.
No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her crap.
I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just assholes.