Joke Overflow –  Joke Archive

Random Thoughts

  • The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.

  • They say a smile is a gift, which is free to the giver and precious to the recipient. But giving the finger is free, too, and I find it more personal and sincere.

  • To all you virgins - thanks for nothing.

  • When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

  • You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

  • Stress is when you wake up screaming and then you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.

  • Marriage is an institution... but who wants to live in an institution?

  • Borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect it back.

  • Brain cells come, and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.

  • Toilet stolen from police station. Cops have nothing to go on.