Where there's a will, I want to be in it.

Marriage is bliss. Ignorance is bliss. Ergo...

I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.

Boldly Going Nowhere

They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.

I was born intelligent - education ruined me.

Some mornings I wake up grumpy, other mornings I just let her sleep!

All power corrupts. Absolute power is kinda neat, though.

If you can't get a lawyer who knows the law, get one who knows the judge.

My grandfather's a little forgetful, but he likes to give me advice. One day, he took me aside and left me there.